Every Book I Read in 2023 Ranked from Worst to Best (Part 1: Actively Bad)

The very worst books I read in 2023

This is the first in a series of four posts where I’ll be reviewing every new fiction book I read in 2023. This (mostly) spoiler-free list is divided into five categories: Did-Not-Finish, Actively Bad, Forgettable, Good-But-Not-Great, and Gems 💎💎💎

For me, 2023 was a year of mediocre reads interspersed with a few true gems. Little of what I read was actively bad, but a lot of it was pretty forgettable. I usually read across a much wider spectrum of genres, but lately I’ve been trying to read more for the pleasure and joy of it. I’ve been picking up more ‘fun’ books, like lighthearted romances, with mixed results. The problem seems to be that I like very well-written, well-edited books – and that doesn’t always go hand in hand with fun and lighthearted.

Before I get started, I want to make the disclaimer that I usually avoid trash-talking books. This post is entirely my personal opinion, much more about taste and preference than quality. I have huge respect for anyone who writes, let alone publishes, a book, and I’m absolutely certain that some of my least faves are objectively better than my top picks (and definitely a lot better than anything I’ve ever written). 

That said, today I’ll be focusing on the DNFs and Actively Bad books, so buckle up and get ready for some trashing!

Part 0: Did-Not-Finish

I am a fast reader. Fast enough that I often think I would get more out of books if I could slow down a little (one reason I love audiobooks!). It’s therefore pretty rare for me to leave any book unfinished, however much I may regret that by the bitter, disappointing end. This year, only two books made the cut to the prestigious DNF list.

The Family You Make

Jill Shalvis (Book #1 in the Sunrise Cove series) (2022)

Goodreads rating: 4.1

Genre: contemporary romance (fake dating, found family, friends-to-lovers)

Plot summary: Thinking he’s about to die in a freak ski lift accident with a beautiful stranger (Jane), Levi calls his mother and tells her what she wants to hear – that he’s fallen in love and finally happy. Unfortunately for the reader, they both miraculously survive. Levi’s lie comes back to bite him in the butt, and fake dating antics ensue.

Review

I picked this book up from a library display shelf with no prior knowledge of book or author. Fake dating and childhood trauma? Count me in! The cover was drowning in praise for Shalvis’s cosy, wholesome writing style. Instead, I found everything about this book forced and contrived. The banter felt embarrassingly fake and made me cringe. The golden rule, “show, don’t tell” was abandoned along with any semblance of how normal people actually communicate or behave. I made it about 30% through, and then decided that wherever this book was heading was a place I didn’t want to go.

A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Mayhem

Manda Collins (Book #1 in her Ladies Most Scandalous series) (2020)

Goodreads rating: 3.44

Genre: historical romance (murder mystery, regency era)

Plot summary: “An intrepid female reporter matches wits with a serious, sexy detective¹ in award-winning author Manda Collins' fun and flirty historical rom-com!”

Review

I was so excited for this book. Everything about it sounded like my cup of tea! Grumpy detective meets trouble-making feminist reporter in a regency era novel. Fun, flirty, and full of wit, I was promised.

I can pinpoint the exact point at which I realised I couldn’t do it.

“So, you knew her well, Miss—?”

Kate left the question dangling in the hopes that the girl would give her name. She was not disappointed.

“Lizzie Grainger.”

Four sentences, two of which are entirely superfluous – and that pretty much sums up the few chapters I managed to get through.

This is a book that thinks it’s witty, which makes it so much more painful and uncomfortable that it really, really isn’t. Books don’t have to be witty to be brilliant! But if you can’t do wit, here’s a great tip: don’t make wit one of the pillars on which your book is built. Again, words like forced and contrived come to mind. Terrible dialogue, and we are hammered over the head with reminders of what a total feminist badass troublemaker our main character is.

Part 1: Actively Bad

Of the books I finished in 2023, 11 fall into the category I would describe as actively bad.

The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

Kody Keplinger (2010)

Goodreads rating: 3.80

Genre: young adult contemporary romance

Plot summary: when popular jock Wesley refers to Bianca as the ‘Designated Ugly Fat Friend’ of her group, she decides to use him for a little distraction. Teenage enemies-with-benefits to lovers.

Review

Read this when I had limited options and, yeah… young adult contemporary romance targeted at teenagers is just not for me. The plot and writing are probably okay for what it was. It addresses some things you don’t often see in young adult novels, but overall I wasn’t impressed. It was written by a 17-year-old and, honestly, that explains a lot about the narrative and emotional maturity.

Also, Wesley is a teenage boy whose parents are never home and he just has a mansion to himself!? The Wesleys of my school days were doing well if they had their own bedroom.

Hex Appeal

Kate Johnson (2022)

Goodreads rating: 3.49

Genre: witchy fantasy romance

Narration: 3/5

Plot summary: A gorgeous American lawyer moves to a small English town, having inherited a house he can’t find and that no one seems to have heard of – the unique, witchy inhabitants of which are approximately 300 years behind on their rent.

Review

This book had all the elements that should have made a fun story, yet somehow managed to destroy my enjoyment of every single one. There was a distinct lack of chemistry, characters constantly making the most annoying decisions, and generally clumsy, awkward writing that was impossible to lose myself in.

I started this as an audiobook and found the narrator so-so, so I got it out of the library instead. I’m now inclined to think it wasn’t the narrator that was the problem.

Monstrous Heart

Claire McKenna (Book #1 in the Monstrous Heart trilogy) (2020)

Goodreads rating: 3.24

Genre: gothic fantasy romance

Narration: 4/5

Plot summary: When Arden arrives in the seaside town of Vigil, tasked with using her powers to man the magically lit lighthouse, she is plunged into a world of dark magic and treachery. She is also told to stay away from her new neighbour, Jonah, who fraternises with sea monsters and murdered his perfect wife.

Review

Described as ‘fantasy Jane Eyre’, this was another long-anticipated read that miserably disappointed. The book is all over the place and just makes no sense. McKenna’s writing is fluffy – a lot of pretty words to not say very much. The world-building is weird and confusing, while the narrative achieves the almost impressive feat of being ridiculously (and bizarrely) sensationalist while also boring and uninteresting.

Arden is one of those characters who has to constantly remind the reader that she’s a feminist (to be fair, this makes sense – it would be easy to forget based solely on her actions). Meanwhile, the gossip about Jonah sleeping with sea monsters and murdering his wife is unnecessarily crass and graphic in a way that adds little to the plot.

There’s zero chemistry between Arden and Jonah and, to add insult to injury, when they finally start sleeping together, we’re told on each occasion that Jonah sucks in bed. I guess that’s more realistic than your average romance novel, but… maybe she should just, I don’t know, tell him!? I would have found it less confusing if this plot point actually went somewhere, like they communicate about it and then it gets better. But no. Not our Arden. I kept saying ‘I don’t think I can finish this,’ and I’m still not sure why I did…

99 Percent Mine

Sally Thorne (2019)

Goodreads rating: 3.35

Genre: contemporary romance (friends-to-lovers)

Plot summary: Darcy finds herself renovating her late grandmother’s cottage while wrestling with her life-long crush on Tom, her twin brother’s best friend. Tom is helping her renovate and suddenly very much available.

Review

Sally Thorne seems to be a high variance author. I read this shortly after The Hating Game (one of my top reads of the year), so you can imagine my confusion and disappointment at finding a book that was the polar opposite of everything that made The Hating Game so good. It really felt as though Thorne was so determined to prove her versatility in writing style and character creation that she forgot that maybe all the things she was avoiding were what made her first book such a hit.

Darcy and her twin, Jamie, are not very nice people, but we’re supposed to see past these rough exteriors and love them anyway. The thing is, they’re not quirky, they’re just dicks. Darcy is a short-haired, badass, HARD woman who works at a motorcycle bar and nuh-uh, nobody messes with her, because she has, like, balls, dude. The first chapter is so over the top in making sure we know this that I would have put the book down if I didn’t still retain hope that Sally Thorne couldn’t write something this bad (I was wrong).

There were exactly two things I liked about this book. The first was the poetic image Darcy has of Tom as a loyal wolf who sleeps on the floor at the end of her bed. That said, this basically sums up how Darcy and Jamie treat Tom, which is… yeah. The second was a bonus chapter of The Hating Game, which I found at the back of the book.

Accidentally Amy

Lynn Painter (2022)

Goodreads rating: 3.51

Genre: contemporary romance (workplace romance, friends-to-lovers, meet cute)

Narration: 4/5

Plot summary: Izzy’s perfect meet cute goes wrong when she discovers that Blake, the sexy hulk of a man she spilled stolen coffee all over, turns out to be the department VP at her new job. Workplace romance of the friends-to-lovers variety.

Review

Was this written on Tumblr!? The most used word in this book has to be ‘gawd’, or maybe ‘gawwwd’. It is used to describe every spicy, surprising, or – actually, just any situation full stop. Not-Amy’s reaction to literally anything is ‘gawd’. The characters are bland incarnations of the grumpy meets sunshine trope. Blake’s character is big, corporate, into-Izzy and… nothing else. He’s also just broken up with someone, which is a big issue at the beginning and then just never gets mentioned again.

The storyline feels like the kind of romantic daydream you have while doing chores, where everything is full of coincidences that lead to sexual tension and difficult, dramatic situations. It’s fun as a daydream, but it doesn’t translate smoothly to the plot of a novel. I like to imagine Painter writing this with a checklist of every known romance trope, trying to get in as many as she can. “Surely I can squeeze in just one more!”

Witch, Please

Ann Aguirre (Book #1 in the Fix-It Witches series) (2021)

Goodreads rating: 3.39

Genre: witchy fantasy romance

Narration: 3/5

Plot summary: “A bisexual virgin with a curse, a witch looking to avoid romantic entanglements, and a chemistry between them that causes literal sparks.”

Review

This book tried too hard to make the hero (Titus) likeable by making him a perfect modern man who drives an e-car and is a feminist and even turns out to be a volunteer firefighter, to the point where it just felt a little bit smug and preachy. Don’t get me wrong, all of those things are great! My husband is the ultimate vegan, cycling, environmentalist, ethical, feminist modern man and I obviously love it. I think there just has to be nuance in writing a character like this. It felt like Aguirre created a supposedly perfect character and assumed the reader would therefore like him, without giving him the subtler things (e.g. flaws!) that actually make someone likeable.

The romance itself was genuinely quite sweet, as was the witchy heroine, Danica, but the plot was predictable and boring and none of the side characters were worth bonding with either.

The Soulmate Equation

Christina Lauren (Book #1 in the DNADuo Duology) (2021)

Goodreads rating: 4.00

Narration: 3/5

Genre: contemporary romance

Plot summary: happily single mother Jess finds herself the unexpected centre of attention when she takes a chance on a DNA-based matchmaking service and makes an impossibly rare “diamond match” with the company’s founder.

Review

I just never managed to connect with any of the characters. Again, it didn’t help that the narration was so-so.

The ending was weird and unnecessarily dramatic – I don’t want to give spoilers, but the way the climax was handled made it feel as though there had been no real character growth from either of the main characters. There was decent chemistry between the characters, but not much else to make it worth reading.

A Witch’s Guide to Fake Dating a Demon

Sarah Hawley (Book #1 in the Glimmer Falls series) (2023)

Goodreads rating: 3.66

Narration: 1/5

Genre: fantasy witch romance smut

Plot summary: Mariel is a witch so bad she accidentally summons a demon instead of flour for her baking. Ozroth the Ruthless is now stuck in this realm until Mariel agrees to bargain her soul. Fake dating shenanigans ensue (because how could they not?).

Review

Another not-very-well-written witchy romance novel, with some truly awful narration (I would love to know who thinks someone listening to a romance novel wants the hero to sound like an elderly man with a cough). A basic plot can still be pulled off if it’s well written and you have great characters, but this one relied way too much on smut to make up for what the plot lacked. Smut isn’t even any fun when it’s not backed up by other aspects of romantic tension!

The one (the only) thing I loved about this book was Mariel coming into her own as a nurturing nature witch, with the power to make things grow and thrive. Who needs to summon flour anyway?

Wildblood

Lauren Blackwood (2023)

Goodreads rating: 3.42

Genre: fantasy romance

Plot summary: Kidnapped by the Exotic Lands Tour Company at age 6, 18-year-old Victoria now guides tourists into the depths of a treacherous Jamaican jungle with the help of her powerful magic. When a tour with Thorn, an American goldminer, starts to go awry, Victoria must navigate betrayal, loss, and the stirrings of love.

Review

This book started off brilliantly, but quickly transitioned into wtf territory and ended up a confusing, muddled mess. Main characters are killed off and the other main characters are like, that’s a shame, oh well, let’s move on. Thorn, who the blurb describes as ‘impossibly kind’, is patronising to the less educated heroine, dishonest, and doesn’t care how many people are killed in order for him to achieve his ultimate quest of … mining for some gold that doesn’t belong to him!? Because being a gold miner is just who he is, and we can’t help being who we are.

I initially wondered if there was some racial nuance I was missing that might explain some of this, but I haven’t seen that mentioned anywhere (and if it is the intention, it’s poorly executed). 

Overall, I found Wildblood weird and confusing in the worst way, but there were a couple of things I did enjoy: the writing style was unique and interesting, and I found the heroine’s deep bond with nature and the wild, sentient forest the most compelling parts of the book.

The Ex Talk

Rachel Lynn Solomon (2021)

Goodreads rating: 3.69

Genre: contemporary romance (enemies to lovers)

Narration: 4/5

Plot summary: two initially antagonistic radio show hosts pretend to be exes for their new podcast. As the show gains popularity, so does their attraction to each other – and their discomfort with the lie.

Review

This is another one that was maybe objectively okay, but didn’t land for me. I found the chemistry lacking and wasn’t rooting for either main character. I should add the disclaimer that I’m generally not into romance novels with a younger guy… but honestly, given Shay’s emotional immaturity, the age difference was probably for the best. The characters get themselves into a classic ridiculous rom-com scenario, and the plot from there is uninteresting.

The Bride Test

Helen Hoang (Book #2 in The Kiss Quotient series) (2019)

Goodreads rating: 3.83

Genre: contemporary romance

Plot summary: Esme travels to the US from Vietnam for an arranged marriage with Khai (cousin of Michael from The Kiss Quotient), and has just a short time to convince her autistic future husband that they are meant to be together.

Review

This is a sequel to The Kiss Quotient, which is in my Good-But-Not-Great list. The plot felt forced, and focused too much on smut in a way which, although similar to The Kiss Quotient, didn’t feel as relevant to the plot. I still enjoyed elements of the book, including cameos from Stella and Michael from The Kiss Quotient, but it lacked the sweetness that made its predecessor so touching.

One thing this book does have going for it is character development, especially in Khai. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a little teary witnessing him learn that being autistic doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of feeling things.

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That’s Part 1! Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed hearing me trash talk a few books – tune in next time for the Forgettables!

This is my first time writing book reviews, so I’d love to know which bits you most and least enjoyed. Or, if you’ve read any of these books yourself, let me know what you thought of them in the comments!

1. I’m irrationally irked by the fact that we had to specify ‘female reporter’ but not ‘male detective’